IF ALL THE SCARS IN MY HEART WERE LADIES, THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN GROWN ENOUGH TO BE WEARING BRAS
After Zainab Kuyizhi
The walls of my heart has grown into a bonfire
I wear these scars like old habits. once, a girl
searched through my heart & ended up not
finding flowery sinews or veins, but skulls of
my adversaries. & ain’t we all glued to this
madness like icicles during winter?
once, I threw some banquet of roses & it landed on
the same garden where my older brother threw His.
the war of love began & it ended when we became
the ashes to its flames. I, too, attempted to tug
love inside of me like a second skin but failed
& still failed. what does it mean to not see a side
of love in God’s many faces? the
last time I thought of love, I almost became a
catalog of dead things. love disgust me, like
every part of me ain’t dying of loneliness.
during a night class, a girl sang the praises of
my poetry so I can dampen into the flames of her desire,
I managed to feign being a Joseph, but every bit of the smile
I could birth is a thoroughbred of anguish. So, I laughed
along to mourn all the grieves lost in my body but
I kept pouring over & over again. I have held onto
love for so long & it didn’t stop my brother from becoming
the closest thing to a monsoon sky.
I do not wish to tell you this: every wall of my
heart is a war center where ladies display their
Kung Fu skills. & my body is a cinema
where broken hearts recount their memories
of haunting. listen, if all the scars in my heart
were ladies, they would have been grown enough
to be wearing bras. In this fireplace, I am a
shadow of a boy running into ashes. didn’t we all
learn to fall in love with the glooms of love
& forgot her stillness till we become moments
etched in the torn pages of her diary? God, I don’t
want to love again. free me from this madness.
I, too, want to be a testimony to flirting metaphors.
Adamu Yahuza Abdullahi, TPC V, THE PLOB, is a finalist of the most peaceful university of Usmanu Danfodiyo, Sokoto. He is an alumni of SprinNg writing fellowship, a Best of the Net Nominee, the first runner up of the first edition of Gimba Sulaiman Hassan poetry contest, winner of the NAKS UDUS chapter harmony writing contest and a shortlistee of many contests, including; Splendors of dawn poetry foundation poetry and short short story contest. His works are published/forthcoming in THE TEMZ REVIEW, Eunoia review, Brittle paper and many other places. Of all things in the world, he values peace of mind. You can reach him on twitter @AdamuYahuzaAbd2 and Instagram @Official_yahuzeey